Feeding Sheep

  Just got back from Great Escape and wanted to share my thoughts not only on the awesome week, but the deeper meaning behind it for me.
  
  The scripture grabbing me is... "Do you love me Peter?.....(Yes Lord).....Then feed my sheep."

   Usually I get to feed the adult sheep, using my gifts. I get to have them in my home safe in the comforts of my home, or church, doing the things I love, the way I love to do them.
   But Middle School sheep. They are different. They want to be outside swimming in cold water, playing tug-o-war in mud pits...
   If I had it my way, I would create the safest, most low-bar way to feed middle school sheep. Could I drive by their fields in my car with sheep food and a bunch of plastic spoons? Could I roll down the window and fling the food at them with the plastic spoons, knowing that they will find it eventually? Chucking food is fun. I would be in a warm car and they could try to catch food? Win for both of us!
   Unfortunately, chucking food at them, is not feeding them.
   Before I left for Great Escape this year, I had a pit in the bottom of my stomach. I was excited to go but the part of me that hates cold water, bug bites, or watching children play in fields and play games that could lead to getting hurt was really fighting hard against making the trip.
   I hugged my husband goodbye and said, "I don't know. I just don't know." and he laughed and said, "Get on that bus Wendy." I walked toward the bus and heard the words from Jesus, "Wendy do you love me?....(yes Lord I do)....Then feed my middle school sheep. Get on that bus." And I did.
   When we arrived at camp, we got off the bus and we went to our rooms and got our suits on and went straight to the lake. I dipped my feet in and the water was cold. I didn't get in. I couldn't do it. I saw the other youth leaders putting the middle school sheep on their shoulders and playing chicken and they were having a great time while I watched protecting myself.
   We had a great night of worship and the speaker was wonderful. We were inside and safe. But guess what? The kids didn't understand being inside and worship and being taught scripture. They kept asking for a drink and wanting to get up and go to the bathroom to get out of the room. I couldn't understand why they didn't want to stay. This is great! We are getting fed! We get to be with the Father Shepherd right now! I watched and tried to help them stay.
   They next day we went with our group of students to recreate with them. To do what they like to do. We played in a field. In a grass field with mosquitoes. I walked up to the field and saw it for what it was.....a biting bug infested playground. I walked forward and heard the words in my heart, "Do you love me Wendy?......(yes Lord I do).....then get in that field and get bitten by those bugs! It would've been great if it ended there. But in that field were games with cold water. You had to fill a cup and run across the field to dump it in your team's bucket. If you got tagged you had to dump that cold water over your head. I'm pretty sure they didn't get the memo that pouring water over your head isn't fun. Guess who it is fun for? You guessed it. Middle school people sheep. They LOVE it. So I played that game with only 1/3 heart. When I got tagged, I leaned over and poured the water over the top of my head so it would run down onto the grass. I did feel proud of myself though because I played.....I played.
    We couldn't finish the games that day because the storm came and for safety we had to get the kids inside. I walked back to my room and had a moment of regret. The rain was pouring down on me. It was drenching my hair, my clothes, my shoes and my back pack. I was all the way wet. I kept thinking, "I should've just played. I missed out. I'm all wet now, and it isn't really that bad. What is so hard about getting wet? I should've played with my whole heart. The kids are way more important than my comfort and even my safety"
   That night we saw the kids eyes open to being fed scripture. We saw them loving worship and sitting quietly to listen to what the speaker had to say. No one got up to use the bathroom or get a drink. We had built trust by doing what they wanted to do in the mornings, we went to their level and they knew they were loved. So when evening came they were interested and listened to the speaker, they were willing to eat the food we gave them. In the evening family time, they were talking about how God was deeply moving them. It was beautiful.
   Not only was it beautiful, it was peaceful. I stopped seeing the games as a place where I was getting bit, and cold and wet, but as a place where I could play and have fun with the sheep. The games seemed less risky physically and more of an adventure to laugh and maybe even win.
   The last day we do a huge shaving cream war and it is the best thing ever. Getting silly and dirty is not a problem for me. Maybe that's what you protect yourself from, but I have a great time with that sort of thing. I look forward to that shaving cream fight every year. This year however, I forgot that at the end of the fight, you have to get hosed down with water that is as cold as the water in the lake that made my body seize when I was a kid. There is no way around it. You have to do it.  I let it sprinkle at first, but when you let it sprinkle the shaving cream melts and starts to run down your face and into your eyes. I thought about running away and living a homeless life. It's pretty desperate when you would be willing to live homeless with shaving cream all over you, instead of getting into ice cold water. Then in my heart I heard, "Do you love me Wendy?.....(Yes I do Lord).....then get in that water! and so for three seconds at a time, I did. It took me about 1/2 hour to get the shaving cream off of me. But I did it.
    Unfortunately this is not the end of the story. We went back to the room to take showers and after the third shower the water ran out. I'm not saying the hot water ran out, I'm saying there was not enough water pressure for the amount of people taking showers at the exact same time. There literally was no water coming out of the shower.  After the hose off of ice cold water, I could not shower. Do you love me Wendy?...(yes I do Lord)....then put your clothes back on and go to lunch.

   What is the cost of feeding sheep? It depends on who they are. Is that cost worth paying so they can have life? It is my testimony that the depth of faith that is in those kid sheep right now is worth the price that all of us youth directors, and counselors and parents paid. The beauty of changed lives is worth my bug bites around my ankles. It's worth that special shaving cream smell that I just can't seem to get out of my hair and my sore tail bone.
  
   What are you willing to pay, so that someone can be fed? What would you do and where would you go? Would you eat green things or spam? Would you get cold and wet? Would you fly in a plane even though you hate flying? Would you hold a baby even though you don't know how to do it? Would you read a book even though you hate reading?
   Lose your life to gain it.... Do what you hate, so that others can live. It's that simple folks because you are very in tune with what you would NEVER do.