I move mountains.

      I am feeling powerful. Not because I AM powerful but because I know powerful things. You might think I am being a little sassy in this blog, but stay with me. I need to say it how I say it.
      My mind has been stirring around with something these days.
      By these days I mean a life time actually. There is something that just hasn't sat well with me. That something is the phrase..... "You are going through this so that you can help people." Or..... "Think about how much stronger you are because you went through that."

      I have always wanted MORE.
      Allow me to put you in my shoes for a minute. I was a little girl who had a daddy with schizophrenia. I wanted a dad that was emotionally available to me. I was grieving that and mourning that. I wanted to have a stable life where I could know that my dad was predictable and safe, but instead I would wake up in the middle of the night and find him sleeping in the hallway. I wanted to be able to have sleep overs at my house like other kids and not have them be afraid to come to my house. If you allow me to be sarcastic for a moment, when I was a little girl, hearing the statement, "You are going through this so that you can help people" was like having someone say, "You almost died in that earthquake, now instead of having abundance and thriving, you were meant to live where there are earthquakes and pull people out and have more trauma. You were meant to live in pain."

   I have always wanted MORE.
   When I went to college and found faith I realized that I could have a higher calling in helping people. Helping people wasn't just getting through dark trauma and then entering into other's dark trauma. I could enter into their dark and facilitate them entering into the light! I had found joy in pulling people out of the rubble of earthquakes. I have been drawn to a life of diving back into earthquakes and listening and helping people because they do get healed! How wonderful! When people ask me, what do you do Wendy? I have answered that I am sort of a Spiritual ER doctor. But being an ER doctor, though rewarding and wonderful as it is, I could do it all day actually I love it so much, there is still something unsettling.

   ...... I still want MORE!!!
   These passed five years I have felt like there is something brewing in me. I have been drawn to read the passage of Jesus calling the disciples to him on the mountainside. There he gives them authority to preach and call out demons. Those who know me well have heard me struggle with that word authority. How does one get that? I have wanted that kind of authority. I have questioned God in my prayer times... Do you give it to me God? or do I step into it? Then the thought clicked in my brain this week. What if I wasn't only meant to go back into the earthquake to pull people out. What if I wasn't only meant to bring light to those in the darkness of the earthquake..... what if I was meant to say to the earthquake, "STOP!!!" and it would stop?

      I was meant to move mountains!!!
      This last week I was healed of something that brought me new freedom and I felt like telling people about it. I felt like shouting it from the mountain tops. I wasn't just drawn to tell people about the healing, I was drawn to tell people about what God is capable of if we just asked Him. In my times of prayer with people I found myself praying with more of a "knowing" or authority that God would do what I asked him to do, because he did it for me. Then it clicked. All those times of struggle I have had to plead with God through layers and layers of hurt, spiritual oppression and sin. Every time that He has pulled me out of some pit, I have given a nugget of Spiritual Authority. Every time I am healed I gain more clarity about what is true about the world, God and God's power.

      I CAN move mountains!!!!
      When you know the power of God then you walk with that authority in you. You walk in believing and knowing, and you feel powerful. I don't think you have to go through trauma to get that but if I did, then I don't care. I love what I know. I love knowing God and what He is capable of, and I love telling you. Do you want to know what is possible and what is true?  

      If God calls you to something he WILL equip you and enable you to do the work.
     
      If you are bent with fear, anger, unforgiveness, or any other oppressive struggle, ask God and He WILL bring you to freedom. Plead with Him like you are knocking on his face. Day and night if you have to. Stay in the game and there WILL be release.
     
      Surrender is the only way to change. You can't try harder. It won't work. You can't just try to be a better person. You have to open your hands and tell God exactly who you are.... and surrender to mercy. Bend your ear to His love for you in the place that you are in... THAT will change you!!

      Hear this..... you are capable of anything.... even evil if you are in a desperate, vulnerable place long enough. So guard yourself. Guard your marriage. Even the best of marriages is capable of one of you having an affair if you do not guard your time for each other and take your vows seriously.
      Hear this...... God WILL redeem your life if you've already made choices in that vulnerable place. If you ask Him, He WILL bring people into your life and resources that can help you.

     And finally.....
     It is not true that there are only a very few special people that have a B-line to God. YOU have a B-line to God. The problem isn't that God plays favorites.... the problem is that you don't believe so you leave the praying up to the prayer warriors and the people who are willing to take the leap of faith and speak and ask. YOU speak too. YOU ask. YOU plead along with me and you will find that you also will be able to move mountains.   

       IT IS REALLY TRUE!!!!!!