When I crack myself up.........

   Our family just got back from a trip to Orlando, and we drove. There were plenty of moments when we were sitting for hours in the car. I don't have to tell you that these long drives make one a little crazy. While driving back through Georgia our three children played their, "you never buy us any treats at gas stations anymore," card. And so daddy gave in and said yes to anything they wanted.
   They were so excited and they RAN ahead of me into the little convenience store. As I was walking into the sleezy gas station behind them I opened the door and in a split second saw this southern woman standing in line who looked like June Cleaver from "Leave it to Beaver." Without thinking and with great feeling, seriousness and loudness I said, "Children.....when you pick out your cigarettes....make sure they are low tar......." and I paused to see what June Cleaver would do.
   Oh man....her inner purity was SUFFERING. She had this look on her face as though she smelled something awful but was trying to hide that she could smell it. I stared her down and finally, she looked at me.
   "I am completely joking ma'am." I said, and she breathed in and almost started crying with relief.
   "Oh thank GOD. You looked like such a nice family. Clean cut, and your children were so well behaved....I was so......disappointed!!!!" She sort of rubbed her hands on her face as though to wipe off sweat.
   I couldn't help it. I started laughing.....pretty hard....."You should've seen your FACE though. That was so worth it!!" Which probably wasn't the most polite thing I've ever said. But it was true. In fact. The kids and I were in the candy section and I just had this deep gut laugh that wouldn't stop.
   I looked up at one point and June Cleaver was staring me down. "Are you going to visit family for thanksgiving?" she said.
   "Oh no. We are playing hooky from thanksgiving. We decided to take a road trip instead...." I waited for her to be really excited for us. Instead she gave me a look of complete horror.....which I wasn't understanding so much. We just had a great bonding time as a family.
   Then with great hesitation and awkwardness she asked, "You ARE traveling with your man folk right?"....and then I realized her confusion. In her mind I had taken my children on the morning of thanksgiving and left my poor "man folk" at home to fend for himself all alone on thanksgiving, while I went to sleezy gas stations and joked about my children picking out low tar cigarettes!!!  I was becoming more and more horrible in her mind......The disappointment was becoming too overwhelming for her I'm sure.
   "Oh, my husband is traveling with us....he is filling up the tank." I said.
   Again, her sigh of relief was not subtle.....poor lady. 
   I spent the next four hours of the car ride randomly gut laughing as I remembered her face.
   At one point I was laughing so hard my eyes wanted to shut and I had to pull down my cheeks so I could see to drive......(yes mom, I should've pulled over....shhhhhhhh it's all okay)
   So here I sit remembering and blogging about the southern June Cleaver. I'm sure out there in Cyberspace, she is blogging about me. That terrible terrible mother..............